The Degenerates Guide to Survival
by RackleCrackle
Summary: One persons morally questionably gray is another's white or black, not sure of where they started they know this can't end well.
1. Your Typical Neighborhood Kids

**The Degenerates Guide to Survival**

 **Summary:** One persons morally questionably gray is another's white or black, not sure of where they started they know this can only end bad.

 **Rating:** M for language, violence, and everything you're not morally supposed to do and some not so great real life stuff.

 **AN:/** Gay. If you have a problem with any of that then leave. Simple. Done. Bye, you're not wanted. Featuring the love decagon you never asked for. Also, the kids your mom warned you about. I pretty much never see some of these pairs and I was curious to write about them even if it just maybe be sex. Definitely going to be SasuNaru but not for a while, if you just want to read about complicated love decagons and not set on a certain pair then maybe this is for you.

* * *

 **01\. Your Typical Neighborhood Kids**

At first it's a hum, soft and overpowered by the sound of water through rickety pipes or the high whistle of the kettle on the gas stove. It grows louder, so much so it permeates the wooden floorboards and gains momentum, it sprouts feet and rhythm and dances all over their apartment. The melody isn't peaceful or soothing it's loud and in your face and even hypnotic. The shadows shift in the corner and a small amount of light falls over the dark features of his friend.

"The neighbors" he says matter of factly. His voice is soft and smooth, he always sounds content.

He on the other hand hardly does.

Clad in only black Sai looks back at him. It's really the only color he wears. His big black eyes are passive.

"We haven't introduced ourselves yet" he says, charcoal all over his hands. The new neighbors moved in a week ago. They themselves had only moved in two weeks ago. It wasn't just one or two or maybe three at most-it was _eight_. Based on what he's seen from the landlord Jiraiya he's not surprised he's rented to that many college kids. They're loud and annoying and he doesn't like it, they don't need any more potential negative attention nearby, not this close.

"Want to?"

"Do you want to?" Sai asks instead. He looks down at his sketchpad before closing it. Gaara leans against the windowsill. Sai's eyes roam over his face.

"Are you trying to get us in trouble?" He says and Sai tips his head just the slightest bit.

"Wouldn't hurt" there's a heartbeat of silence before a ghost of a smile wisps across their faces, mutual understanding threaded in the silence within the room.

Standing in front of their bedroom window Sai peeks down at the parking lot to find drunk college students loitering around the entrance and all their cars taking up the lot. Some are dancing, some are messing around but they're all laughing. A couple of kids point to their unit which has the lights turned on.

The complex itself is an architectural oddity, three of the four worn down units their neighbors occupy are stacked on top of each other, two on the bottom and one on the top. The fourth unit which is theirs is attached on the side almost like a garage and top heavy to mold into the empty space. They all share a wooden rickety porch.

Tossing his band tee at Sai's face he hears a muffled huff and a curious "Gaara?"

He grunts in response.

"Does it snow in Suna?"

"No, but it gets cold." Sai goes quiet and Gaara shakes the bad taste this city leaves in his mouth. Coming up behind him Gaara takes the olive green beanie hanging over their mirror and fits it to Sai's head in the reflection. The color suits him and Sai tosses Gaara his gray beanie, he messes with it so it swallows most of his vivid red hair. Sai flashes him his small standard closed mouth smile. Too much black in this case would not be ideal. Dressed like normal party goers Sai pockets their house keys and they walk out the back door.

Walking around the perimeter of the house the lingering scent of weed, alcohol and smoke is strong. They meld in with the crowd at the edges of the parking lot and enter with them, most of them are already too brazenly drunk to realize their presence. The music overflows out of the walls onto the porch and rings out in the cold autumn night alongside the yellow streetlamps and cricket chirps. The door opens to the strong billows of liquor. Party goers pour out of their neighbor's open apartments, into the hallway and even up the stairs into the last unit. Clouds of blunt and cigarette smoke hang like ghosts in a graveyard and a perpetual haze rolls throughout the whole complex. Most of them reek of alcohol. Sai grabs his wrist and slips a beer into his hand, they tap cans in silent cheers.

The apartment belongs to the guys, he can tell by the ping pong table in the dining room and the pool table in the living room.

Sai can tell by how ugly the decor is.

The pool table attracts Sai's attention so they gather round and watch a pale guy with black hair and eyes squint in concentration as a guy with white hair grins at him. They recognize him. At best they've only seen passing glances of their neighbors.

 _Number one._

"Go Sasuke! Kick his ass!" An energetic redhead girl with glasses coos on the sidelines. He ignores her for having an intense stare off with the guy.

"C'mon Bastard that new sound system isn't gonna buy itself!"

Their blond neighbor with vibrant blue eyes shouts enthusiastically while rubbing his hands together hungrily. He has a huskier voice than Gaara expects. _Number two._ The one with black hair and eyes looks over his shoulder at him and glares mildly,

"Moron, we'd get a kitchen table before a sound system."

Looking around deeper in the complex Gaara spots a guy with black hair up in a ponytail and terrible posture leaning back on the couch talking to a girl. The distinct smell of cigarettes is heavy around there. His head almost lolls from side to side either really really stoned or trying to pay attention to her and failing. He maintains minimal interest but she doesn't seem to notice. His hair is distinctive enough to pick out from a crowd. _Three._

They pass a crowd around a keg. The sight is impressive. Walking into the kitchen they find an intense game of beer pong. A guy with long straight brown hair and light lavender eyes stares across the table at another guy with scruffy dark brown hair and matching eyes. For some reason his shirt is wrapped around his head and he has two messy triangular streaks of red paint on his cheeks. He looks wild.

Behind him is a big guy with long brown hair too, red swirls on his cheeks.

 _Numbers four through six._ The guy with lavender eyes gives a cocky smirks when his shot lands.

"Take off your pants, mutt, and...put them on your head" his voice is deep and no nonsense but under the influence of alcohol as it strains with amusement.

"Fine fine fine " Red-Triangle guy says looking miffed. Red-Triangle guy reaches for his pants and the crowd goes wild. They only notice Inhabitant Seven because her blush is brighter than his face paint and when her long dark hair, straight bangs, and same lavender eyes with the red tomato blush come into focus she's quite something.

Garra can't help but holler at the Red Triangle guys sudden shyness. Sai tugs at his sleeve lightly and Gaara pulls away to follow. Throughout the rest of the apartment they can't find the last two so they travel across the hallway to the next apartment that is solely working as a large dance floor. Strobing lights work to wrap around and distort dancing bodies, with everyone intoxicated and reckless they almost move like one. Music loud and in their face it vibrates through them to rattle their bones. Dancing bodies are handsy and push them this way and that. On the center of the dance floor is a hot blonde with colored eyes and her roommate with cotton candy pink hair. Under the kaleidoscope of lights they're hard to make out but the pink is a dead giveaway. They're surrounded by drooling guys and it takes him a second to recognize them. S _even and eight._

Gaara smirks, and makes a beeline for the bedrooms but is stopped by Sai around his wrist.

"Let's have some fun first" Sai whisper-shouts in his ear.

Gaara knows better, he really does.

But sometimes he indulges.

They indulge, and then they indulge some more, _way_ more than they should...what's supposed to be an hour of fun turns into three. Mildly detached and entirely too buzzed Gaara hears Sai making up outrageous stories and lying about themselves to total strangers who guzzle it up. He almost laughs. They dance a bit. Upstairs is more dancing people but mostly those smoking or making out.

They make a game out of it, tip toeing around their neighbors, avoiding and dodging. Cops and robbers. Ninjas.

 _This isn't how neighbors should meet_ , he thinks mischievously, although ideally they wouldn't meet at all.

There comes a point in the night when the baby pink haired girl is being lifted in the air and chugging from the keg with her friends all cheering her on that Gaara finds himself following Sai across the hall. The three bedrooms are around the corner from the kitchen which is right past the living room where the majority of the crowd is. No one bats an eye when Sai rattles the bedroom door.

"It's locked?" He asks slurring just a bit. Worming himself between Sai and the wall Gaara kneels, keeping to the shadows to be discreet and is quick to pick the lock. It's a bit harder to do when drunk though.

The room has a state of the art computer system in one corner. It looks like something government hackers have in the movies. A plain bed bed is tucked away in the corner. The room is moderately clean. Closing the door behind them they begin to rummage through the room, poke and prod and open with careful hands. They know better than to touch the fancy computer, it'd be too much of a hassle anyway.

They'll come back for that later.

Sai swipes a rubix cube off the end table and starts to fiddle with it.

"The colors on this are hideous" he murmurs to himself. He makes sure to lock the door.

The low _whoosh_ of the rotating cube is constant as Gaara opens up drawers and fumbles inside trying not to mess up anything too much.

"I'm keeping it" Sai states.

Narrowing his eyes he looks around the room when he comes up empty handed. He sticks his hand under one mattress and comes up empty handed.

"Help me find it" Gaara says and Sai begins to rummage through the closet. Gaara takes up the desk. He snatches a pair of wireless earbuds and puts them in his pocket. The fancy palm sized virtual infrared keyboard finds itself in his pocket.

"Found it"

Gaara turns his head.

"Nothing...Shikamaru Nara is broke" he says matter of factly, flipping through his wallet.

Gaara looks at the photo, over his shoulder, _the lazy looking one._

The gleam of silver catches his eye and Gaara turns to look at it, sitting on top of a covered textbook is a fancy, metal lighter. Gaara flicks his wrist and the flame burns blue and strong, that finds its way in his pocket.

"Let's go, there's nothing else here." Slipping out of the darkened room the party still rages and people don't give them a second glance. The bedroom right next door has random potato chip bags in random places. Feeling under the mattress his fingers brush against the distinct touch of leather. Snatching the wallet he digs through and finds fifty dollars.

"Choji Akimichi, fun guy" Gaara murmurs sardonically. The beer pong player with red swirls on his cheeks is squinting at the camera with a dazed and constipated expression.

Sai shifts away from his side and a small sharp intake of air has Gaara turning to catch Sai dipping his hand into a fancy fish tank. In his hand is a flopping fancy looking robotic fish. In his own minor expression of excitement he switches it off and slips it into his pocket. He has nothing of value besides his laptop but that's too much of a hassle to take.

The tablet is another thing of its own, though. Opening the window Gaara is careful to double wrap the tablet in socks and drop it gently to the floor, it lands with a dull thud twenty feet down. Hopefully, it didn't break. They make sure to lock every door before they leave.

Reemerging into the party they slip in between the dancing bodies smooth like running water toward the last room and find that the door is open. They approach with hesitation.

Flicking on the lights they freeze for a heartbeat, sitting on the bed is a large white dog. Upon seeing them the dog hesitates before smiling at them and wagging its tail, they let out a breath of relief. Quick on his feet Sai lies on the bed to play with the dog. A flash of color catches his eye and an old school retro arcade console flashes brightly with harsh colors and annoying music.

He fiddles with it and tosses it to Sai who slips it into his pocket.

A Bluetooth speaker. He takes that.

The room is an absolute mess.

Kiba Inuzuka isn't as smart as his roommates, he leaves his wallet in his dresser. It seems he is Inhabitant Five a.k.a Red Triangle guy. Fifty dollars finds itself into Gaara's pocket.

"College students" he scoffs to himself.

It isn't long before he find themselves rolling around in the bed completely distracted by the fluffy white dog. His red leather collar reads Akamaru.

Akamaru loves the attention he receives and licks their faces and sheds all over them.

"We gotta go" Gaara says as he lays sprawled on the bed and flips over to rummage through the nightstand. He tosses a pair of big black framed glasses to Sai. The look suits him.

"Okay. We'll be back, okay Akamaru" the dog squirms happily at his name, not knowing the implication of Sais words.

They're not jerks. They leave the lights on for Akamaru.

It takes a minute of staying in the shadows with dry humping strangers until they merge into the mess of people. They find the neighbors all busy when they cross the hall into the other apartment.

They head into the furthest room away from the crowd and pick it with monster speed. The first thing that catches his attention is the swords mounted on the wall. Japanese style blades they shine deadly and real on the wall, their size is impressive.

"Katanas" Sai breathes besides him and hurries over to examine them. He smiles just barely as he runs his finger over the blade. The sharpness of the metal sends a shiver through him.

"Can we?" He asks almost hopeful.

"...not today."

The longing sigh he lets out is soft and almost untraceable.

"Fine."

He swipes the matte black watch on the night stand instead. Sasuke Uchiha is smart. He leaves his fancy fine leather wallet on the ledge of the box spring on the underside of his bed. He's a looker, the snide one at the pool table earlier. They get their hands on forty three dollars.

Gaara takes the fancy shot glasses on the dresser.

Leaving the room and moving on to the next one Sai makes eye contact with the pink haired girl and she does a double take. He feigns conversation with the couple next to them. They're obviously stoned out of their minds. She stares at Sai a little longer before continuing on her way. The room is too exposed to pick the lock and get in especially without strobing lights and dancing people. Being locked the only logical way in would be from outside.

A window to be exact.

It's getting late, not late enough to where people leave but to where the noise is apparent outside. The cold air is sobering and numbs their skin the slightest. Sai's black eyes water. The cold quickly seeps past Gaara's clothes.

"There's no one outside" Gaara murmurs looking down the left and right under the lonely streetlights. Ducking into the small space between the complexes Sai looks behind him before dragging a recycling bin casually at his side.

Gaara gestures him over. They locate the tablet and find it unharmed. Finding the locked bedroom they place the recycling bin under it. Sai's nose scrunches at the dumpster behind them. The dining room window is much too close for comfort considering they don't know where the apartments inhabitants are. Sai jumps up onto the bin first and finds purchase to push himself up. Just barely grasping the window ledge he pushes himself up he finds himself teetering on the edge. His fingers manage to grip the window and to his relief it comes up smoothly. He propels himself inside and he hears muffled thuds, knowing he's knocked something over. Breathing harshly on the carpeted ground, his abdomen throbs where the windowsill dug deep. His muscles quiver slightly.

With the wind knocked out of him and laying on the floor Sai opens his eyes to an upside down lit room and a pair of brown eyes watching him.


	2. The Three Musketeers

**02\. The Three Musketeers**

The harsh lights make him recoil more than the eyes. Blinking, he's greeted to the sight of a girl clearly pawing through their neighbors belongings shirtless and wide eyed. She stills for a heartbeat before standing stick straight like her imaginary puppet strings have been pulled taut. She goes to cover herself with her hands and looks absolutely appalled.

"What the hell!?" She exclaims. Scurrying over to the bed she rushes to dress herself. She doesn't seem scared but weary. While she struggles with her shirt ungracefully, Sai's eyes jump around the room from the color of the walls to the furniture before zeroing in on the locked door.

Another girl lays on the bed, blonde hair covering her face, clothes disheveled and blacked out. The girl shifts her weight when he looks at her. Her doe brown eyes are wide and jumpy, they keep looking back to the door.

She's not fooling him.

With an unimpressed look and moments of silences she drops the act and her entire demeanor changes. Eyes narrowing slowly her bravado and attitude come through.

"What are you doing?" She demands putting her hands on her hips. Standing at 5'5 tops she's hardly intimidating.

"I think the real question is what are you doing?" He says letting his eyes wandering over to the still open drawer. The dull ache in his stomach is annoying as he draws himself fully up. She goes quiet and watches him cautiously, he catches her eyes shifting from the window and door.

Not turning his back on her Sai backpedals to the window and down below in the deep dark catches the light color of Gaara's eyes. His skin almost glows in the dark and even in the shadows his mind can supply the missing patches of his impatient expression. He takes a second to look back at her before gesturing him up.

Sai's no expert on emotions or realizing them or even understanding them but he can tell she's putting on a front.

Sai receives a mild glare when Gaara is more or less is dragged in through the window. His face hardens as his eyes pass over the girl. He sees the partially undressed girl passed out on the bed, he can put two and two together. Sai giving him the ok is enough for him to not lunge at her

"Who are you?" Gaara rasps.

"Who are you" she says eyes shifting between them and withdrawing from the almost hostile approach to a neutral one. They must scare her.

"I asked first" Gaara says tilting his head, nothing but suspicion.

"I'm...a friend" she says without giving anything else away. At least she can recognize when to back down, other times this happened they'd gotten into scuffles.

Gaara is distrustful, Sai can tell she's no real threat.

He flashes her his standard smile. Gaara gives her _the look_. They look like quite a pair.

"What? Haven't you heard? Honor among thieves" she says looking pointedly to his pockets. Under the lamps the crystals on the watch face sparkle from his pocket.

"He was wearing that earlier, ya know."

"You're friends with them" Gaara is quick to conclude, taking a step closer as she backs off.

"What? No! _No!_ I've just been watching is all...I'm just getting started." She waves her hands in front of her.

"She had her hands in the dresser" Sai clarifies.

They don't say anything, Gaara making a noise of displeasure. It feels like they stare each other down for ten minutes of silence.

Looking down at the pillowy carpet Sai picks up the tumbled knick knacks and places them back on the window sill.

That seems to break the tension and Gaara is quick to turn and start, she on the other hand hesitates and watches them before seemingly getting her wits about her and turning to look through the guy's room on opposite sides.

The girl watches them out of the corner of her eye. She can't shake the awkwardness. Her hair is falling out of her hairdo. She finds a pair of brass knuckles. Gaara's kinda jealous.

She finds his wallet on the top shelf of the closet. "Neji Hyuuga" she whispers to herself. She takes forty dollars. Tossing it to them they find themselves looking at the beer pong guy with light lavender eyes and long straight hair.

Sai is quick to swipe the fancy looking old school camera he has sitting on his dresser, draping it around his neck.

Gaara finds a heavy black palm size box, it has two tongs at the end.

A taser.

Sai looks surprised and intrigued. The crackle of the sound attracts the girls attention and she goes wide eyed again with awe. Gaara's mouth curls into the slightest of smirks. They're not sure what else the girl takes but she hops out of the window, landing with a thud and groan and going out of her way to wipe down the window for their security. She puts on gloves just like them. This clearly isn't her first time. If anything it makes Gaara more suspicious.

They follow after her, landing shakily on the bin with sweaty palms. The jump is high enough to break something after all.

"Did you go across the hall?" She asks out of the blue. For someone with a girlish voice and seemingly friendly face the last thing she seems like is a thief.

But looks are deceiving.

"Yes" Sai says after a moment of scrutinizing her intensely.

"There's a room next door" she says as if enticing them and grabbing the recycling bin and dragging it further down the small alleyway.

"That's ours" Gaara says for the sake of being petty.

"I don't see your name on it" she says playfully.

She looks at them and smirks urging them.

"Come on, lets go" she says waving them over.

"Don't pout" Sai says helpfully and throws Gaara a smile. It goes unappreciated.

Later on, they would say the only reason they followed was because:

1\. They were still pretty damn drunk

2\. That's where they were going _anyway_

Gaara stays on look out while Sai stands aside waiting his turn. Prying the door open she is more nimble than she seems and gets herself in easily. She gives a thumbs up. The most apparent thing about the room is the loud orange color that coats the walls. The other rooms are muted colors, navy, gray even black or red but this particular shade of orange is almost offensive to the eyes. The mess doesn't add to the charm.

Casually picking up the fancy looking headphones off the desk Gaara places them around his neck and looks around.

The mini garden and bonsai tree catches Sai's eye. One of the several cacti pots looks like a real animal skull. Sai relocates the cactus inside to another pot. Gaara's eyes watch him inquisitively.

"I want it,...inspiration" he says almost as an afterthought. Gaara gives his half shrug, his silent 'take it.' Sitting out there in the open is the guys wallet.

"Smart" Gaara says sarcastically.

The damn thing might as well have dust on it.

Rustling comes from the closet and the girl has a jar in her hands, on a neon orange post it, and in horrid writing says 'tattoo money.'

Sai takes a crossbow knick knack on the desk that shoots paper. Gaara takes a flat hourglass with black sand inside that carries a rainbow gradient at the right light.

They can't carry anymore so they leave it at that. Even with the background noise of music and people the distinct sound of approaching feet and conversation is enough to make Sai's heart stutter. Adrenaline racing through their blood they look to each other in mutual understanding of the situation. Gaara is lighting quick to twist and flick off the lights. Sai closes the window just as the doorknob rattles.

They both dive for the closet. The girl makes a sound of surprise.

Gaara finds himself on top of a bunch of clothes twisted in an awkward position as Sai stands aside and as still as possible, cradling the skull shaped mold in his hands in the broken up streaky shadows of the paneled door under moonlight. The girl has her face on his ribs and her arms awkwardly wrapped/trapped around his arm and waist. She rustles as she tries to move and Gaara has to wrap his other arm around her and hold her down.

"Don't" he hisses.

After a second the door opens.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" the familiar rough voice calls. He doesn't bother with the lights as yellow light spills across the carpet from the hallway. Through the thick panels of the closet they can just barely make out the blond guy digging around for something. After a couple of seconds voices shout his name.

"Coming!" He calls and strides out of the room more than a bit wobbly. The door slams shut.

Gaara and Sai let out a breath and sneak out of the room with their ears straining to hear.

Too many close calls. It's time to call it a night.

The girl tosses everything she's taken into their stolen neighbors pillowcase and carries it over her shoulder like a sack. They leave careful not to disrupt anything extra and wipe all evidence of their late night visit. They leave through the window and even through the passing glance into the dining room window they can see people are starting to get reckless, some guy is shirtless and trying to dance on a kitchen counter.

They leave unnoticed.

Gaara stuffs his hand into his pocket feeling the crumpled bills. The flat hourglass is tucked in the waistband of his jeans and uncomfortably digging into his hip. The girls eyes have a lively glint in the shadows. She smiles almost sheepishly.

"Well that was close"

Sai smiles his bland smile.

"I think that's enough for us" Sai says looking at forever stoic Gaara. She raises an eyebrow,

"You're calling it a night?"

Sai nods once and she looks at them suspiciously, she clearly wants to say something but ends up shrugging.

She waves two fingers in a peace sign and walks further around the apartment, the plastic busted wheels on the recycling can crunching hard with dirt and rocks on the wet ground. They watch her disappear around a corner. They don't see her stuff the pillowcase into the recycling bin.

The wall back to the complex is short and the crickets chirp loudly, Sai still cradling the skull mold and humming to himself. They wipe their feet at their apartment and make sure they lock their doors.

And their windows and pull their curtains.

They don't expect her to come to their place since she's only going for the neighbors but they're not going to test their luck with her lurking around next door.

"You think she noticed?" Sai asks over the whistle of the wind definitely more sober now. He fiddles with the key but manages to get them inside.

Peeling his hat off and tossing it onto the couch all in one smooth flow Gaara only bothers to half shrug one shoulder and walk silently into their room. Sai leaves his shoes by the front door and flicks on the light to Gaara unzipping his jeans and pulling out the hourglass. The sight is amusing. They empty their pockets onto the bed.

"Who cares we're probably never gonna see her again" he says and ruffles his own hair. Sai plops down on the bed and unwraps the tablet.

Holding up the hourglass Gaara watches the colors flow upside down in the barely there moonlight,

"Locked?" He asks.

He looks over to Sai and in harsh white light his dark eyes dart all over the screen.

"No"

He decides the hourglass should take up residence on his end table.

"Then what's wrong?" He asks picking up the watch and putting it on as a test try.

"There's nothing but recipes on here...?" Sai says looking his version of perplexed.

"He was a big guy" he says further scrutinizing everything for its worth.

Sai hums in agreement and feels the bed dip next to him.

"Anything good?"

"Let's see..." nothing of true interest is saved on the tablet, no credit cards...no bank info. The camera roll is something else though. The pictures range from screenshots of recipes to stupid things on the internet before they turn personal. An alarming amount of pictures seem to be of one person.

The blonde neighbor with the icy blue eyes and flirtatious smile. She definitely is attractive.

"He seems to be obsessed" Sai says.

"Poor bastard" Gaara clicks his tongue. Scrolling through her selfies as well as the pictures cropped specifically of her it seems the neighbors all seem to be close friends as there are pictures from when they were in high school. Outings and adventures are saved as well of silly ones clearly in taken in each other's houses.

Sai likes looking through them and finds himself intrigued by circle of friends.

The notes are recipes for the most part as well an occasional letter to the girl whose name is Ino.

"Delete it, they can trace it" Gaara says as they reach the end of notes.

"I know" Sai says. They learned their lesson the first time.

Feeling generous he decides to log the guy off his account instead of deleting it and resets the tablet before putting it on his night stand.

Sai sighs, the sound of muffled music is still audible and the subtle pulsing vibrations coming up through the bed.

He can tell the new neighbors are going to be nothing but trouble.


	3. It's Called Organized Chaos

**03\. It's Called Organized Chaos**

Fingers grasping quickly at fabric she stirs on a bed that isn't hers. Smelling faintly of vanilla and sandalwood it's sweet and pleasant. It also smells like Neji, it's that scent she picked out for him two years ago. He refuses to admit that he loves it. Or that she's a genius. Even in her half comatose state she can recall the brand, it's name, the year it came out and even down to the season.

Unfortunately for her it's also giving her nausea.

Her stomach flips and she lifts her head up too fast. Lightheaded, the darkness seems alive and distorts around her like a breathing, moving creature. Blinking in Neji's darkened room she groans and it takes a second for her senses to come about her and realize that the curtains are a deep yellow with blocked sunlight.

 _Where's my shoe?,_ she thinks sitting up and wiggling her manicured pastel pink toes. Her temples pound like a drum and she swallows around her mouth's need for water. Something _must've_ died in her mouth, it makes her cringe. Muscles stiff she manages to drag herself off the bed and make it to the door. Turning to his mirror she can only take in her disheveled appearance with confusion. Her hair is falling out of its ponytail and her shirt is missing?

"Shit" she hisses and stumbles around looking for it. She would've been worried had she not been wearing her jeans. Putting it on she braces herself but the small amount of filtered light from the hallway is enough to make her recoil as if hit.

Stepping into the light she blinks rapidly and hears the slight shuffles and groans of people, clearly there are others in the apartment. Past the short hallway she turns into the kitchen and finds herself face to face with Shikamaru drinking straight from the faucet.

"Morning" she finds herself mumbling. He glances at her and goes back to chugging water. He backs away from the sink to lean against the counter on his elbows. Its her turn. She at least bothers with a cup.

She drinks until the water dribbles out of the cup and her stomach stretches uncomfortably and she hates herself a little more. She's a out of breath when she puts the cup in sink.

"Where is everyone?" She asks bracing herself on her elbows next to him.

"Everywhere, I imagine" Shikamaru's voice is rough whether it's from the hangover or an early morning cigarette she doesn't know. They turn to the sound of an opening door and just manage to catch some random person slipping out. His black hair is out of his usual ponytail and it grazes his collarbones. She can't help but stifle a laugh. He turns questioning eyes to her, she shakes her head playing it off as a cough.

There's lipstick all over his face.

 _He'll figure it out later._

The shuffling sounds of someone waking up carry from the living room and a headache inducing groan splits the silence. The springs on the couch creak and someone rolls to their feet. The sound of bare feet hitting tile floats into the kitchen and Kiba is half asleep. Shirtless and disoriented he's cradling his head. He looks up to them, swallows, and scrunches his nose.

"Who the hell are all the people in my living room?"

"I'd hardly call that a living room, at most you have a couch in there" she can't help but remark.

"We can't all be fashiony decorator people like you, Ino, besides...we needed space for the pool table" he says fishing through the cabinets and popping some pain killers.

"How is having more than a couch being fashion forward?" she says snidely.

"I don't know, it just is!" He says with his usual logic.

"Isn't Hinata awake?" Shikamaru asks.

"Doubt it, we went pretty hard last night." The cherry red triangles on his cheeks crack and flake with his words. His dark brown hair sticks out everywhere, he looks nothing short of wild on his best days. Kiba turns to offer them some aspirin when he fixes Shikamaru with a look.

Reaching forward Kiba slowly swipes his thumb across Shikamarus cheek alarmingly gentle, watching his face turn slightly pink and twist with confusion,

"Wha-"

And then swipes bright red lipstick straight across his forehead.

"You got a lil somethin' somethin' there, you dog" he winks and elbows him in the side. Shikamaru huffs with an unimpressed face as if swapping saliva with someone was more of an inconvenience than anything.

A sudden scuffle of clothes and a moment later Sakura walks out of the doorway, shoes in hand and disheveled to say the least. She walks towards the door without even a backwards glance.

"Hey, you look-" Kiba says laughingly but is cut off by her flipping him off. She stops at the door and breathes before yanking the door open and swearing colorfully into the white light of the autumn's morning. The slam of the door draws muffled protests from the living room.

"Looks like someone ain't having it today" Kiba says offhandedly.

"Get rid of those people" Shika says nodding towards the living room.

"Fine, fine. I always have to do everything around here."

"Ugh, as if" Ino tells his retreating back.

"Alright, everybody, get the fuck out!" Kiba shouts and claps into the living room and is immediately greeted to a chorus of groans and murmurs. It doesn't take long before people rouse like zombies clamoring around for their keys or shoes or shirts. A few of them try to thank Kiba for such a great party but he merely smiles, pats them on the back, and says "yeah, get the fuck out" before showing them the door.

Sasuke and Neji walk in at the same time. Sasuke doesn't look hungover, besides wrinkled clothes and a few mystery stains. The corners of his mouth curve just a bit deeper downward than his usual neutrally unimpressed expression. The shadows under Neji's lavender eyes give way to his wild night, it gives his eyes a penetrating gaze and the rats nest he's got sporting on his head doesn't help. He frowns at everyone, forever displeased.

Ino moves to sit down at the windowsill as Neji and Sasuke move towards the sink. She would have sat at a chair had they owned any. Her heart beats just a bit faster around Sasuke.

"Morning Sasuke" she smiles forcing aside her irritated mood.

He blinks at her for a second before he grunts. _Obviously not in the best mood._

"How's the hangover?" She can't help but be pushy.

"Wonderful", he murmurs sarcastically, "at least I got some money out of Suigetsu." He almost smirks.

"Yeah and that money is going to the new sound system _ooor_ a pool table-either or...I'm not sure which is more expensive."

Naruto leans against the door rubbing the tired out of his eyes and looking happy, hangover and all. With a rumpled shirt, major bedhead, both shoes and a sock missing he's nothing short of grinning.

"Morin' everyone" he smiles tiredly and as jolly as ever reaches for the aspirin and water.

"Uzumaki your morning cheer is despicable" Neji murmurs without his usual bite. Naruto can't help but bump into Neji playfully and drape his arm around his shoulder.

"Someone blacked out on the wrong side of the bed", he says patting his shoulder. Neji gives him a deadpan look and he flicks his long brown hair over his shoulder,

"I didn't black out."

"Ah, yeah, is that drool on your cheek?" He says pointing to him and laughing when Neji flips him off.

"Where's Choji and Lee?" Shikamaru asks.

"Choji was making friends with the toilet last night" Neji says setting up the coffeemaker.

Naruto makes a face, going to lean against the counter with Sasuke.

"Let's just hope Lee isn't on the other side of town by now" he says jokingly.

"Maybe he'll headline the news" Sasuke muses. Ino chuckles.

"Where's Sakura?" Naruto pipes up and Ino almost wants to roll her eyes.

"She went back to the apartment. Be warned she seems pretty cranky" she says. A chime later and a mug of coffee soothes most of the crankiness in the room.

"You're going to be a great homemaker one day, Neji" Ino smiles playfully at him.

He rolls his eyes at her and disappears towards his room.

There's a shared moment of content sighs as they all take sips of coffee.

That's when the shout comes. It's sounds like a cross between a yelp and a scream and it jostles Ino and splashes coffee across the countertops. Kiba materializes at the archway with a panicked face.

"Someone took my shit last night-or at least I think they did."

"What shit?" Shikamaru asks.

"I was going to go check on Choji and let Akamaru out and I'm missing money and my gameboy and my Bluetooth speaker."

"You were drunk you probably misplaced those" Sasuke says with an underlying _duh_ in his voice. This was Kiba after all.

"No I didn't. I left the game boy on my desk with my speaker and I had fifty in my wallet. It's gone."

"Ugh, Kiba have you seen your room? You can barely see the floor. Clean it and you'll find it" Ino says dismissively.

He huffs and crosses his arms.

" _Fine_. But I got a bad feeling."

The quick shuffling of feet scuffle down the carpeted hall and Neji turns around the corner, annoyed.

"Who went into my room? Who took my stuff. And who slept in my _bed_?"

Ino feels heat wash over her so she sips her coffee quickly.

"What do you mean?" Kiba says perking up.

"My beds a mess. My expensive vintage camera is missing and so is my taser and my wallet is empty."

"I fucking knew it! They took my shit too and my money."

"Someone took your stuff? Your room is a mess how would they even find anything?"

"Hyuuga do you always have to be a smartass? Messy room or not I know where I left my shit. It's called organized chaos."

"Go ask Choji" Neji says to Kiba who strides out of the room irked.

"We should probably check out the apartment" Sasuke turns to Naruto with pursed lips.

"You think so?" He asks.

"Who would sleep in my fucking bed though?" Neji muses to himself and Naruto nudges him. "Maybe you have a special admirer" he wiggles his eyebrows and winks at him. Ino puts her cup down.

"I should probably go check mine too", she mutters and darts out of the room.

* * *

A hundred forty three dollars. It's not bad but not what he was hoping for, but it makes sense when their targets blow all their money in liquor. Gaara flips through the stack of bills like playing cards with his feet propped up on the coffee table.

Sai sits besides him on his laptop in deep thought. When the fuse is lit Gaara can't communicate thoroughly to Sai until he gets it out of his system.

He's doing his research.

Flipping on their sound system Gaara plays some music, Sai never minds. His new mini speaker is in their room on their desk.

Sai is an artist, he paints and sculpts and photographs what he pleases. He's like a chameleon with his work, Gaara doesn't know a damn thing about art but he thinks it's secretly impressive. Sai has made everything his canvas including the walls of their apartment.

The wall behind the tv is painted to look like the ground level of a forest, misty and melancholic and very real. Gaara has found himself staring at the murals all over their apartment and losing time over them.

Jiraiya doesn't mind as long as they paint it all back once they move out.

Putting some tea on the kettle he rummages through their drawers when the doorbell rings. Sai's illuminated eyes leave the screen and he stands at the doorway, laptop in hands with a neutral expression.

They're not expecting anyone over today. They never expect anyone over.

Dressed in sweats and a hoodie he opens the door with Gaara's stoic face peering over his shoulder.

A police officer stands on the other side of the door, quiet and assessing. He has blonde hair and light blue eyes, _officer_ _Yamanaka_ , his badge reads.

"Good morning, yesterday night a couple of possessions and money was stolen from your neighbors, do you happen to know anything about it?" His voice is careful as he studies them.

Gaara can tell he either doesn't like them or is suspicious and to him they mean the same thing.

"No"

"That sucks" Sai tskes and the officer shifts his eyes over to him, his eyes narrow a bit.

Sure it's insensitive but it's not incriminating. Gaara almost smirks.

"How old are you two?"

"I don't see how that is relevent officer, but we are both twenty two."

"Just curious,...and you weren't at the party? Seems like something right up a twenty-two year olds alley."

"Our partying days are over" Sai smiles bland and fake.

"Ah, and where were you yesterday then, by chance?" He asks tipping his head a bit and smiling as what could be mistaken as friendly.

"We were visiting my parents, they live in Konoha" Sai says slipping his hand into Gaara's. Gaara threads their fingers together and stares expectantly at him.

Officer Yamanaka's face turns slightly pink with his realization. Footsteps shuffle along the wooden porch and another officer comes to stand beside officer Yamanaka. He has a goatee and black hair pulled back into a ponytail. _Nara_ , his badge reads. A lightbulb clicks over his head. _Shikamaru_ _Nara._

Officer Nara and Yamanaka look a little bit _too_ much like two of the inhabitants.

Gaara can't help it.

He doesn't pounce on officer Yamanaka for his faux pas, instead his brain comes up with something else before the officers turn to leave.

"-We came back late last night and we heard a lot of noise coming from next door," he catches their attention and the officers turn to face them fully.

"- _lots_ of noise-" Sai is just as quick to pick it up.

"...There were a lot of people overflowing the parking lot and the street but they were enjoying themselves,"

" _Lots_ of fun from the sound of it" Sai says before going back to attend to the whistling kettle. He makes sure to sound earnest.

"Look, we were tired and we didn't want problems so no, we were not at the party. We don't even know them" he adds for security.

"They were all incredibly intoxicated and all packed in the driveway. Don't you think it would've been dangerous if they had drove home, officers?" Sai says coming back and leaning against the doorway.

Gaara wants to laugh. Officer Yamanaka still looks suspicious but the irritation is clearly playing across both officers faces.

"Alright, well if something else suspicious happens around here just let us know or if you know anything else." Officer Yamanaka says quickly and with that they walk back to the neighbors apartments.

Gaara closes the door and turns to Sai who's smiling wide.

Gaara doesn't resist the smile spreading on his face, wicked, cocky and smug. Sai's heavily amused black eyes glimmer in the cloudy light as he hands Gaara cup of tea.

"Do you think they fell for it?" Sai asks, tipping his head.

The tea burns his tongue just a bit,

"Who cares? That'll teach them a lesson" Gaara says huskily, electric seafoam green eyes meeting his partner's dark ones, both livelier than they had been in awhile.


End file.
